Halloween is one of those holidays that looks fun and precious on social media but generally very different in real life…at least at our house. I love the pics of everyone’s kids this morning, but I’ll have to settle for this one from a few weeks ago because this morning was a hot mess. Elsa suddenly wanted to be Jasmine, Cinderella wondered if she’s too old for princesses, and Wonder Woman became Bo Peep from Toy Story before going back to Wonder Woman but without the cape (or the dress) because everything itched. I was actually grateful for Eliza’s aquatic therapy session before school because it gave us some one-on-one time to talk through the day again, something I could tell she was craving. Sensory stuff is hard. Change of routine is hard. And food and treats everywhere you look is really, really hard.
I can’t count the number of times she asked about today. Will there be candy in class? Will we have to do real work or just crafts? Will I be in my regular classroom more? Will people have candy in their lunchboxes? How much candy do you think I’ll get tonight? Do you think people will have things other than candy too? Do you think anyone will jump out and scare me? How many pieces of candy can I keep? When can I eat it? Will my sisters get more? Will they have it in the pantry?
Nothing feels fair or easy to that girl right now, and a part of me seriously considered just keeping her home and turning off the porch light later tonight. But I’m reminding myself that they’re excited. She’s excited. I’m reminding myself that we have a plan. Her sugar treats will be swapped out for a prized toy she’s wanted for weeks, and her school knows not to give her any food that didn’t come from home. Still, I’m ready for today to be over. To all the mamas juggling the fun with the fear, I see you. We can do hard things…even Halloween.